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Physics - the forces of error

This was written as a goodbye present for our year 11 physics teacher. It's pretty much compiled of class jokes.

Not so long ago, in a classroom walking distance from here, sat ten students, diverse in personality and appearance. Ten students collectively learning, becoming one under the direction of a charismatic teacher. Despite the initial apprehension of young adolescents, knowledge had accumulated and interest showed itself.

            Trials and tribulations had clouded successes, though not completely overshadowed them. Exam blunders became part of rapidly growing class jokes, enriching the environment. Not completely confident of her knowledge, the youngest of the small group spoke in a voice of shear curiosity and confusion.

"Is the displacement to Sydney larger than the distance?"

Ten pairs of eyes focused on her, worrying her as the teacher corrected her.

"The displacement can never be larger than the distance because it is distance in a particular direction, it travels in a straight line."

A hint of crimson rose along her cheeks as the class lightly smiled. Soon, despite her slight embarrassment, she too began to laugh. The first of many incidents to be remembered for times to come.

            Despite their growing understanding, algebra had never been a class strength, especially for one particular girl. Presented the problem, the class stared blankly at the paper, knowing they would write unprecedented mistakes. She stretched forth her mighty pen, placing mistake after mistake across the page. Though the class knew they too had made the same fateful error, they were unwilling to admit it. To the present day, whenever the class is presented an algebra problem, it is compulsory for someone to comment, bringing laughter with the memory.

            Over the months, they had become very familiar with a rather enthusiastic reader, who on several occasions has attempted to bring the text to life. As his voice fluctuated continuously, he inspired tears of hidden laughter from the remainder of the class, as well as a few unbridled snickers from the teacher. Pronunciation didn't seem an issue as he stumbled hastily through the text, mispronouncing words in his haste and intention to entertain the class.

            As time continued, the students became very fond of their seating arrangements, protesting profusely when a new seating plan was suggested. These protests often resulted in abusive comments and threats of violence towards the proposing party. This was especially noticeable in one specific case. Who would have thought the quiet one would be so overprotective over a single inanimate item, especially considering it didn't help her algebra. The dreaded time fast approached as they each scrawled their names across a small strip of white paper, folding it as small as possible in a futile attempt to be along the back row. She sat nervously as the first few names drawn out, fearful that she would be forced to vacate her faithful seat; second from the front on the teacher's right. She began to relax as he drew closer to her seat. However, the relaxation was soon replaced by agitation as she was forced to abandon her old seat, to be across the other side of the room.

            Experiments performed within the class tended to provide unexpected entertainment and surprises, especially during practical exams. Electricity and the class had proven to be a dangerous mix, as they had already managed to melt polystyrene cups with a handmade filament. As they prepared to start their prac exam, a myriad of complications ground the lesson to a halt. What appeared to be faulty ammeters slowed the proceedings, though it was later discovered that the resistors were the most likely cause of the problem. During the experiment though, one of the girls in the class had unintentionally overloaded the circuit causing a resistor, and the cardboard it was mounted on, to be set alight. The smell quickly filled the room, diverting the attention of the other students. This also attracted the attention of the teacher, naming her "burnout kid" which she became known as for the remainder of the year.

            The class's attention waned as they learned the physics of electricity. As their interest diverted, so did their thoughts. In an uncharacteristic display, the teacher stepped out from behind his bench at the front of the room, toward his right. Unsure of what to expect, the class instantly gathered their thoughts and channeled all of them to the man standing in front of them. In circumstances unknown by the class, he began to walk across the room, pretending to walk down a modeling catwalk, smiling as he did so. Surprised, yet amused, the class laughed, enjoying the diversion, though quite unsure what to think. An incident that remains memorable for it's rarity and humour.

            Despite the fun and overall good nature of the class, there remained a problem student. While he had a degree of intelligence he refused to show it, only producing work when constantly prompted. Often during experiments he would call on others to help with his experiment, or would distract a group while he was supposedly working with them. Often he would receive threats from his classmates and they would be given permission by the teacher to "belt him over the head with a brick". Luckily for all of them, none of these threats were acted upon and quickly became part of the class culture.

            As young teenagers fresh from primary school and timid, many of the students had been afraid of this tall, outspoken teacher. Yet, as time rapidly proceeded, the fear began to diminish to how the small class stands today; a group of learning physicists unafraid to ask questions, learn and have a little fun in the process.