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Double Lives

I stand in a stark white octagonal room. Totally alone, but surprising cozy. I knew no harm could come of me in here, even though I have no idea where here is. I look down on myself, expecting to see my cute blue pyjamas. Whoa! Haha, I'm in this spunky white cotton singlet dress. As simple as the room. I blend in completely (strange considering Ive never blended into anything before; not even my own family). That and my hair was shorter than what it is in reality. I spin around slowly a couple of times, curious of my surrounds. All I can hear is the echo of my own feet. On the third and fourth spins I speed up, giggling and spinning like a ballet dancer. I know this is a dream, but it feels so real. I stick out my foot and stop suddenly. My head swims with dizziness. Both my sleeping body and my spinning body. I shake the dizziness away and stare at the object that caught my attention. Im not sure if its a mirror or a window, but it definitely wasnt there before. I walk up to the pristine looking glass that has replaced one of the walls. I look out. "Wha..." I mouth in barely a whisper. The sound fills the chamber. Below me I see my sleeping body, covered in my favourite blue Chinese quilt. How can I be looking down at myself? And why do I look so big in this projection? Is this just an over zoomed home movie or have I shrunk in my dreamy transit?

            My first experience in the Devic Realms was certainly a strange one. I had no idea I was actually there. I could have sworn it was just a lucid dream. But still, I knew in my heart that it wouldnt be my last visit to other realms or other planes of existence. I just didn't think it would happen quite the way it did.


            "You're almost pixie like. Small, fragile." He gave her a jasmine flower. Time to go home. She smiled half sarcastically and threw the flower at him.


            The last five or so months have been dreamy. Everything kind of blended into one. A beautiful baby boy being the first of a new generation, spending all my time exploring new avenues with new, but close friends and finally living my life the way I wanted to live it. My new found adulthood is magnificent. Even responsibility is welcome if it means I can take charge of whats mine. I had a boyfriend but all I wanted to do was live. I was part of a close knit group of single girls. You know, party, have fun, stay up all night talking and stuff. It was my new friends that perplexed me more than anything. In particular, two men who seemed so familiar it was startling. I had believed in past life experiences for quite a while. Supposed new experiences felt so common to me and life felt like I'd lived it eternally (generally in a good way).

            "You're really good at this, and a quick learner. Are you sure this is your first time?"

            "Yeah, I think I was a harlot in a past life."


            "That's a pretty dark sense of humour. Why so cynical?"

            "It's a dark world, and I've seen too much of it!"

            There was something about these two men. We had become almost best friends straight away. There was an unspoken connection I immediately felt. Kindred souls so to speak. There was something magickal about the younger of the two. Something unspoken, but I knew I could do no harm to this person. It was important. And the older of the two believed no one could do harm to me.            "It's alright, we've got her in the car. The Powers That Be will never harm her!"


            Here, I'll teach you two a bit of cord magick. Kane handed me the end of a doubled up length of natural twine. I laughed as I walked backwards until it was taut. I tossed my head back reveling in the sweet rain as it massaged my face. I couldnt stop smiling at the sky. Refreshment. Tiny crystals broke the drought. I hadnt seen rain in what seemed like since the dark ages. I was so entranced I lost sight of what I was actually meant to be doing. When the impatient voices of Kane and Adrian brought me back to reality, I concentrated my energy into the cord and started twisting. All three of us took turns, laughing and talking away about nothing in particular. It was amazing to me that such strong friendships could develop in a few months. I'd been so used to people betraying me. It seemed hard to fathom. As the sun set, we twisted the final twist and wandered inside for a warming coffee. We had been casting magick and all round good vibes all afternoon, and well into the night. "You know, I've never seen anyone get along better than you two" Kane aimed at Adrian and I.


            "If the relationship breaks down, you must destroy the cord! Releases the energy"


            It was a beautiful Lammas: not too hot, but seasonably warm. The sun continually danced in and out of the clouds. For once in my life I didnt suffer from chronic allergies. The air was calm. Perfect weather for a walk. I was sick of being cooped up in the house. It was the height of summer, and although its a lesser sabbat, I felt I needed to be out in the air. Negative thoughts and depressing insights into the future had plagued me for a couple of weeks by now. It was time to distill these. Id been building strength in my psychic talents for quite a while, but they were still erratic. At any rate, I could sense the aura of Adrian from a mile away and it wasnt a happy one. Worse still, while I couldnt see it, I could feel it as if it were my own. Uugghhh! Its bad enough seeing your friends suffer, its even worse when you can feel it as well. Combined depression. Disgusting. I could feel it seeping out of every pore. Ech!

            "How can you say that?"

            "Look, I'm sorry but..." Adrian tried to defend himself

            "But what? What the fuck does it take? You dont even trust me enough to TALK to me!!"

            "I've never talked to any of my friends about stuff like this. Why start now?"

            "Because I'm one of your closest friends!"

            "I SAID SORRY!"

           " Sorry doesnt fucking cut it!" I lowered my voice to almost a whisper. By this stage I was sobbing like crazy. I'd never fought like this before, especially not in a public area. I hated making scenes. Adrian looked devastated. I slammed my cord onto the table in front of him. I stormed out. I couldn't take it anymore.


            I was taking my time walking home. To be honest I didnt even wanna go home. Maybe I was too hard on him. He did look devastated when I yelled at him. Actually no, he should feel some of what I'm feeling. Still, as much as I try, I can't be angry with him. Its impossible. He's my best friend and I love him. Maybe if I...crack! Ahhh, shit that hurt! Still, I feel a bit better, and that pole certainly didnt expect it. I laugh at it half heartedly as it rattles and shakes. Images of all our happy times flood into my mind. Through the tears I begin to smile. Ah, who gives a damn about the fight. I had the time of my life, even if it was only short lived. Then why can't I forget this?


            "I swear theres a halfling that keeps rearranging my stuff. Things seem to end up different places to where I left them."


            I really hate cleaning! And aint that the truth. Hey, hang on I picked up my enrolment forms out of my filing cabinet. I put these in a different folder. I flicked through the labels and dumped them in the right folder.

            Just havin a little fun dahl a faint Irish accent wafted through my room. Wha...where did that come from? I spun around quickly, pinpointing the sound. A shimmer of a halfling caught the corner of my eye. It vanished before I could get a better look. What that what I thought it was, or am I losing my mind?


            I don't know whether I'm dreaming or whether Im awake. I'm now wearing a flowing purple skirt and a blue corset top. Everything exists in such vivid colour. As I walk I cant feel the ground. It's as if I'm floating. I explore. I must be dreaming. No grove as beautiful as this exists in reality. I feel so dwarfed by the giant willows and oaks. Hundreds of people flitter around me, some playing, some doing chores. Wait, those aren't people. They're faeries. Faeries of all races, not seeming to notice the human in the litter. I feel an overwhelming sense of familiarity. I feel like I belong here. That this is my home. A youngish looking Brownie faerie walks past me. He casts me a long, meaningful glance. His face looks so familiar! Where do I know him from? As I stare into his black eyes, Im pulled back towards my bed.

            Wherever I had travelled to last night, I'd been there before. It was the same atmosphere as the white room from months before. I still didn't know where this place was and I couldnt go there consciously. It doesnt matter. Todays a new day. Don't take any crap from anyone girl! I sleepily walk out to the kitchen and grab a glass of milk. Hmmm, odd. Where is everyone? Sitting down, I spot a small note in my dad's handwriting.

Gone shopping, be home soon

Meh. House to myself. Could be worse. I stumble downstairs (my knees dont work at the best of times, especially in the mornings) and pull out four candles. One blue, one green, one yellow and one red. I face the window and arrange the candles so red is in front of me, yellow behind, green to my left and blue to my right. I shake my cheap-ass lighter. Oh good, its still got fuel. Once all the candles are lit, I close my eyes and relax. Meditation time and a chance to sort out the muck in my mind. "Well these files arent going to sort themselves y'know." That Irish accent was back. Though this time, the voice was stronger, more solid. Just as I was starting to drift!

            "Holy shit! You're real!" I exclaimed in shock. Then I realized I may have offended the little guy.

           " Of course I'm real Lady Caileach! And that dream of your's wasnt a dream!" He was a stout man. Up to my chin while I was sitting down. Well shaven and wearing little khaki overalls with a stained cotton shirt underneath. Actually, come to think of it, he was kinda cute.

            "Wait, my names not Lady Cai-Shannon?" I asked

            "Aye my little Lady. And you are Caileach. Didn't you feel at home last night? You could feel it. The floating sensation. You were flying!" He took my hand.

            "Flying? I don't have wings!"

            "Yeah you do, just not in this world, or this body. Come with me, we have two hearts to mend." I squeezed his hand. We started to dissolve.


"I believe that you gain knowledge through as many lives as you desire to live. The body ages and the mind learns. Then once the body is gone, the spirit matures and evolves, if you like."


            Whoa, that felt strange I whispered to Shannon as we rematerialized in Adrians bedroom. I let go of Shannon and stared at Adrian. He was half asleep and the look on his face said it all. He was broken. Disturbed by conscience and subconscious. His aura pulsed towards me and I burst into tears.

           "Wha?" I broke his light doze. " did you get in here? And who the hell is that?"

            "Me name's Shannon," he began in that delightful drawl. I'm a friend of your's and hers from the Otherworld." Shannon clambered up onto Adrians desk, kicking off some of the clutter. "Ech, and you really need to clean Sedric!"

            "Wait, Sedric?" He was as confused as I was.

            "Aye, take the Lady Caileach's hand and she will tell you all." I walked over to Adrians bedside and held out my hand. He grasped it firmly, desperately. I smiled weakly. "Now close your eyes Sedric." I closed my eyes and concentrated on what I remembered of the other world. My mind flashed with images of the grove from my dreams, the octagonal room. Other images crawled out from the depths of my subconscious. Things I hadn't seen in my nightly roams. A gorgeous family, that resembled us.

            "Sedric, will you stop panicking. He won't grow wings until he is old enough to walk. Shannon told us this is perfectly normal."


            "Come on Caileach I bet you cant beat me in a race!" They sped off after each other


            "DUCK!" Caileach yelled as a blue ball of energy shot straight over Shannon's head, upsetting his hair. She looked at him innocently. He muttered under his breath and shot the ball back


            Sedric checked his reflection in the pond. Hed never really cared, but it seemed important to look good for her


            "We are you, fair people." Sedric spoke first.

            "We became you because we wanted to live in the human world." Caileach hugged their baby and Sedric moved closer to them, careful of both pairs of wings.

            "Don't fight! Find your wings and visit your home." Sedric and Caileach floated off. Faeries of all races played and went about their daily chores oblivious to the disturbance.

            "Shit! I really am Sedric!" Adrian paled.

            "Ye really think I could lie?" Shannon was a little hurt at the suggestion.

            "Haheh!" I let a little laugh escape as I stared in awe at Adrian. "You have wings!" I was beaming. I couldn't stop smiling.

            "So do you!" He was almost in tears. Everything made sense.

            "Well, me work here is done. See you in the Otherworld. Sedric, m'Lady." Shannon bowed to us and vanished.

            I hugged Adrian close "I wanna show you something!"


            I'm wearing the blue corset and purple skirt again. Adrian is wearing a faded green shirt and tasteful yellow pants. As gross as it sounds, here it looks magnificent. We fly through the grove, getting used to our wings and chasing each other. Old friends smile at us as we flitter by. Drawn to an old, towering willow, we land on the fifth bow.

            "Mother, father!" Our son, now close to seven years runs up and hugs us both. "When you are ready, I will become your human creation, as well as your fae creation." He looks just like his father. Downy brown hair, piercing green eyes and that eternal innocence. While we just want to stay, we know we have to return to the first plane, the real world. But we know we can come back here whenever we please.


            "Magick resides in all of us, we just need to know how to use it."


           "I'm really sorry for everything I said, or more to the point, didn't say!" Adrian hugged me close.

            "So am I..." I pulled away slightly and gazed at his sincere face. Cupping my head with his hand he leaned forward and tenderly kissed me. I'm not a putz. I didnt refuse.


            We stayed together after that, keeping the secret of the Otherworld to ourselves. Of course, we did create a little chaos, shrinking down to our real size and fluttering by friends, rearranging their things. We've always been mischievous, now we can be ourselves in a new and improved way. We're both graduating this summer and have solid careers in this world. My bodys also telling me that our faerie child is leaving the Otherworld sooner than expected.