Looking around me, I see nothing but a barren hollow, a self induced nightmare from which none will escape. Physically I am alive and well. Spiritually I no longer exist, descending for the heavens; unable to love, conquer or inspire. There was no possible way I could ever envision the world through the eyes of a naïve child, I had witnessed the aggressive qualities of humans. A history clouded by prejudice, torment and hatred. Now; a war in its infancy rapidly maturing under a false identity. We do not deserve our evolutionary privileges! Our intelligence, developed brains and capability to learn from other peoples mistakes. Envy, greed and misuse of knowledge characterises a species of tyrants, unwilling to serve nothing but their own passions and desires. Cleverly crafted emotions all eventually lead to hate and destruction. We are unable to cherish the simple qualities of love and compassion without creating an artificial barrier to protect us from the very thing we inflict on others. Pain.

            I always knew I didnt belong. While the people surrounding me basked in the perpetual light of the conceited self-importance, I silently observed from my shadowy corner, though I never wished to be of Them. My eyes are well accustomed to the darkness now, but occasionally the light will penetrate my shadow and cause me to cower in a photosensitive fear. Cynicism became my best friend, my only companion in the depths of darkness. I am feared just as I am outcast. They fear me for my knowledge, for my realism, for the phobia that the will one day follow me through the friendly shadows beyond their sensory perception.

I was once dimly haloed by the warming orange flame akin to that of a single candle. That candle has since burnt out, withering to nothing as my respect for humans diminished. Despite Them, I didnt fear those dwelling among the welcoming shadows, rather I embraced them, learnt from them, began to be them. My halo dimmed as I learnt more, filling my conscious mind with an unrelenting hatred for the crimes of passion and intolerance dancing provocatively before me. To the Shining Ones knowledge was considered an evil, to us it was a way of life. Our shackles unlocked by a wealth of knowledge, leaving us free to descend into the darkness. My spiritual life is now well and truly over.

Inescapable misery followed me on my descent from the light, but suicide was never an issue. Despite my involuntary urges to feel the kiss of a blade on my skin, I refused to let Them win. I could not help but wonder if I would be more content reunited with my spirit and leave my cursed bodily vessel to return to the Earth from whence it came. But then I remembered that I would be victory for Them. And I refuse to let that happen.

For a while now I have observed one similar to what I used to be. He too appears to be different to Them, only surrounding himself with a faint, warming halo of light. My attraction constantly tore at my mortal soul, cursing my mind for accepting such a person who strayed from the darkness. I had watched for an eternity wishing his descent would be swift, alleviating my disturbing concern with his presence. Conflict is nothing new to me, but in this instance I could not help but feel lost and vulnerable. They had prayed for assimilation, to remove my individuality and replace it with Their luminescence. Such a devastating act had been performed throughout history, destroying life and culture. This process though, was much more subtle. The use of subliminal messages littered through the media attempting to rob those who differ.

I became increasingly isolated as my brain battled with my emotion. I watched the faint halo surrounding him, his actions filling me not only with pleasure, but also intense guilt. Guilt for the decision, whichever end I choose to meet, I will eventually have to make. Maybe I should conform to Their society, reducing me to naught but a glowing orb. As always, I quickly and frightfully rejected the notion from my mind. Yet I could not wait for his descent from the heavens any longer. Since I noticed him many months ago, I have eagerly awaited the moment we should meet, resurrecting my spirit and igniting his. Now, as I reflect on my miserable past and contemplate my sordid future, I cant ignore my fears or desires.

Am I really a Darkened Soul? An evil spirit as the Shining Ones view us? A true shadow dweller would not even consider the thoughts currently flooding my consciousness. Yet I could never adopt the light of Them, never accept the surreal world They surround themselves in. So what am I? Who am I? I belong nowhere, I do not fit yet I feel I should be one of the Darkened Souls; but if they knew the horrid thoughts crossing my twisted mind I would no longer be welcome, unceremoniously thrown into the light to die in my photosensitive fear. I no longer have an identity. Am I then, in reality, a Shining One? Crying in disgust, I couldnt shake the fear that I am, in fact, one of Them hiding among the shadows. A violent death is enticing compared to an eternity of a floodlit hell.

He has been watching. I no longer feel alone, though no less confused. His presence re-ignites my curiosity in the human mind. I still view Them with spite and cynicism, but I find their sordid minds intriguing. I have found that since he has noticed my movements, the faint golden halo engulfing his heavenly form has somewhat dimmed, representing itself as a sparse and fragile pale glow. Unlike my transformation, They do not alienate him, rather they remain accepting of his descent, as I once embraced the Darkened Souls of which I am now a part.

Attempting to quench my turbid heart, I stretched forth into the blinding luminescence, tentatively at first, my clothing resembling that of a vampire protecting itself from the scorching sun. At first I had thought of naught but a violent rejection, now I imagined a life in his presence, a glittering silver glow engulfing the two of us. A pure glow that cannot be replicated by the Shining Ones conceited self-importance. Greeted by hostile and disbelieving glares from Them, I wandered through the crowd searching for him. I caught sight of his dim halo surrounded by the exceeding brightness of his friends. As I approached him, my mind became blank. My heavy shadow differentiated me from the group. Accurately judging my expressions, he approached. All rational thought ceased and my heart fluttered faintly. I stared, disbelieving, at his refined features, sending myself into a dreamscape which was horribly interrupted.

Three simple words carving deep wounds into my soul. "You're too different!" The malicious nature of his words cast me deeper into the recesses of the shadows. However, I was mistaken in my attempt to find solace in my once comfortable abode. The Darkened Souls had outcast me punishment for the ultimate crime. I pursued a Shining One. Though however disenchanted I remain, I proved the meaning to their existence. Conformity.

I am homeless, spiritless and of no consequence to those around me. I wander, with no destination, to escape the prejudice of both the Darkened Souls and the Shining Ones. A common enemy uniting previous enemies. I wander. I find myself standing precariously on the edge of a cliff staring at the abyss below. This is where I belong. Without thought, my feet leave the cliff. I fall. Peacefully. My end contrasting my existence. I fall. Visions of my spirit floating about me. I greet death with a humble smile, yet I am truly more alive than before. I've fallen.