I never really understood this world. Velvety grass was replaced with the monotonous grey of asphalt back in the twenty first century. The natural world had been ignored for centuries until it became too valuable to completely eradicate. In a bold and rather intelligent move, the former working class became rich merchants selling wilted, sickly trees to the wealthy, while the rest of the world tried to imagine what it actually felt like to sit under one.

            Culture has now become the ability to try exotic ancient cuisine in your fifteen minute lunch break. Oggling the advanced and elaborate advertisements (which are now the most abundant resource on the planet) and spouting the occasional bit of old world jargon is now considered appreciation of art. "What enticing juxtaposition" I heard one man say. Considering the word juxtaposition was banished from the English language by a mob of angry high school students back in 2025, I very much doubt he knows what it means.

            Multiculturalism is now a farce limited to physical appearance. Everyone's a bastardized American. Being a multicultural society is now basically having the balls to decorate your house in as many exotic styles as possible and flaunting it. Individuality ceased to exist in the hostile infection of the developed world by Americanisation. Everyone who's anyone struts around in the latest fashions by American designers with simple, three letter names (such as Gap, Jag) to make it easy for the last of the people still learning English to be trendy too.

            The media is the be all and end all of knowledge. The new world government (well developed world anyway. The developing world seems to have some marvelous vaccine and I want in). If it's not in the media, it's a fallacy. This also sparked the rise of several "spunky" new laws banning the more horrific side of fashion (anyone remember the 1980's?). The dictionary is updated yearly by the buoyant young stars of MTV as new idioms are invented each year and old words are dropped just as flippantly. Cronz. Actually, no, not really. I didn't mean that.

            Microsoft is the new Jerusalem, Bill Gates the new Messiah. People from all denominations flock to the Microsoft Corporation towers and the flying Windows statue out the front has been polished to a smooth sheen by constant rubbing. Holy wars rage between the XP and NT denominations, threatening to reboot one another, funnily enough with giant, exploding boots.

            The twin towers have become a martyr to skyscrapers everywhere. Towers have become bigger and better, actually designed to avoid low flying airplanes and missiles through a variety of cartoonish dodge maneuvers. Money has now become a flip book series. Each note goes up in increments of five dollars after the two dollar note. Collect the whole set and you can see the towers collapse in real time. Yes, even money has become a collectable on the global market. Unfortunately the rest of the world also has to put up with the never ending hype about that slightly remarkable day.

            While the rich continue to get richer, the working class overcrowd the poor shelters and ghettos. Ironically, the country that claimed "Nothing's too good for our citizens' can't be bothered forking out the extra carsh (blame MTV) for sub quality commission housing. Meanwhile the rich can afford to buy a tree on a day's wages, or perhaps the tiny wildlife preserve on the corner. Crime is now considered to be holding back the rich. Essentially, they are the police.

            Everything slowly became codified under American influence. Suddenly Belgium was subject to the whims of the American judges and Turkish businessmen had to clear the smallest of decisions with their head office in the USA. And so the culture infested the globe, creating the largest Empire on record. Everyone became united under the one flag. The Earth sketched onto a Big Mac wrapper replacing the stars on the American flag. The stripes remained the same.

            McDonalds became the ultimate cuisine, despite the numerous health warnings in the old world. Violent protests and a complete reversal in dietary laws led to the eradication of every existing pickle on Earth. Huzzahs were in order. Confectionary is good for you, the propaganda says so. Luckily due to the availability of permanent fat removal and chewy Flinstones vitamin supplements, people are still relatively healthy.

            I really don't like this place. Hopefully this society is like the New Coke: so horrible and unpopular that society "Classic" will be returned. We can only hope! Now who's with me? Get that taser awarrrghhhhh!"