In early December my life turned around when I suffered some tragic losses. Not only did I lose a dear relative, I lost
my closest and dearest friend. Writing and inspiration were the last things on my mind. As a result, my Muse left me. She'd
taken my creativity with her. It got to the point where I couldn't even play the piano. Everything started to lose meaning.
I was lethargic, terse and sarcastic. The only thing that cheered me up was being away with my uni friends, but even that
was frought with complications. As a writer, musician and investigator my muse is the closest thing I have to a true partner.
So what do you do when you lose the love of your life?
I did the one thing that I scorn my friends for. I ran.
I only told my closest friends where I was going. It was a four day pilgrimage, of sorts, and I was going to do it right!
I'd been to Cabarita before but when I arrived I was taken aback by the beauty. The drive was exquisite, though a little tretcherous
and the lake was much healthier than in 2000. It's my little tropical paradise.
The effect was almost immediate. I sat and admired the
view for a while. The breeze had just a hint of salt. It was much more noticeable 200 metres up the road. Cabarita is so relaxed
and there's a hint of magick in the air. The setting sun created the perfect contrast to the pristine water. It was the first
time I'd eaten both healthily and plentifully for two months. I'd lost my scowl and sarcasm. While it felt strange to be so
far away from my friends, particularly Jim, he made his support clear and I got several delighted messages from him. I was
alone, but not lonely.
Despite the fact I was happy and relatively at
peace (as peaceful as I get), I didn't find my elusive partner straight away. I knew this was something I had to put my entire
heart into. Just like losing a lover, you make every attempt possible to get them back. She had spoken to me in short
intervals during the night but I needed to search deeper. A day with the family and speaking to my Grandfather helped things
a little. I was drifting from my main aim and starting to lose ground. On the third day I decided to walk the grounds and
do some photography. That's when I found her. She was standing next to a small inlet on the lake's shore. I was tempted to
photograph the site but something stopped me. Now I just have to persuade her to come back home.
I persuaded her to come back. I pleaded
but she still loves me. That was relatively easy. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get her to enter my house. She refused
to step in the door. She whispers to me through the window some nights but she never stays long enough for me to write. Its
getting frustrating. I need to be somewhere else.
